Karla Keffer

The Eagle Has Landed, Oh Yes, Oh God Yes

In Uncategorized on July 20, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Happy 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing! I remember it like it was yesterday, except not, because I was age T-minus seven years and counting in 1969. And happy 40th anniversary to Marilu Henner on the occasion of her virginity loss! Standing up! In the shower! See, I do remember the 20th anniversary of the moon landing – my mom, who was a seriously self-aggrandizing Baby Boomer, told me about how she was watching what I thought was Carson (it was actually “Later” with Bob Costas) and “so-and-so from ‘Taxi,’ oh, you remember her, yes, you do” was a guest, and she claimed to be able to remember where she was on any given date, and when Bob Costas lobbed the softball date on July 20, 1969, she realized she’d been in the shower, giving the big gift, tm “That ’70s Show.” It wasn’t until she published her sca-aa-ndalous memoir that I figured out that so-and-so from “Taxi” was probably Marilu Henner – not that Carol Kane isn’t lovely and nutty, but she never struck me as the sort to speak freely about her virginity loss on national TV, whereas anyone so WHORISH as to not only do the Posturepedic Polka with John Travolta, Tony “Don’t Confuse Me By Giving Me A Different Character Name” Danza, and Judd Hirsch, but to write an entire book about it would have no such qualms. (You do realize I’m kidding about that whorish thing, right? That lady who wrote to People magazine to suggest a more appropriate title for Marilu Henner’s memoir would be Mariloose sure wasn’t! I wonder what she’s up to these days, and if she’s still got that self-righteous log up her bum. She didn’t bone that many people by Baby Boomer standards, Lady! It just seems that way because they’re famous and they’re all crammed together in one book. Capisce?)

I’m just relieved Marilu Henner settled into marriage and whelping and thus redeem herself and her WHORE!ish ways. Snerk.

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