Goddamn, it just cracks my shit up sixty-four thousand ways ’til next Square Root Day to see the foundering remains of the Republican party trying to save face by going all Ghetto Fabulous, as my e-pal Dan C. put it. Reminds me of those middle school assemblies where they’d bring in some anti-drug rapper/rocker and over half of us would be so skeeved out we’d have to go straight to the lav and shoot up. Well, okay, not literally. But we’d sure as hell want to, and that still kind of defeats the purpose, does it not?
Dare we hope the Repugs are going the way of the Whigs? Or is this latest episode of “G.O.P.: Head Up Its Ass” like that moment in Spaceballs! when Dark Helmet tells Lone Star, “Fooled you! Evil will always triumph because good is dumb”? (Oh, quit looking at me like that. Yeah, you. My lovely, anti-establishment dad took me to see Spaceballs! when I was ten and we had a great time, even though I made him sit two rows behind me because I wanted everyone to think I’d come alone. There’s no need to look down your nose at me because your dad took you to the Fellini Festival at MOMA. It’s not my goddamn fault I grew up in a cow pasture.)
Anyhooligans, yeah. Wow. Audacity of hope and all that. It’s just that the Repugs have had their boot on our neck for so long that I’m terrified to cry victory, lest they kick us in the face and send us spiraling back farther than we were before. Sighsighsigh.